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"I looked at her and immediately felt ashamed. Self-pity could be as corrosive as guilt and neither had a place in my new life. "I'm sorry. Of course you do. It's just that there's so much to do, so much to learn. Sometimes, I feel pretty hopeless." I'd be terrified." She reached out and held my hand, silently giving me a few minutes to regain control."I am terrified. And overwhelmed," I admitted to her."So, do you have to go to girly school, or what?" Emily obviously was trying to tease me out of my despair - and was doing a pretty good job of it."If I could find one, I'd go there in a minute, but I'm afraid it's going to have to be self-study for me."She looked down at her sneaks and said, "Maybe I could help." Help - how?" Well, look. I know all about being a girl. The secret handshakes, the private code words, the works. I could teach you."I knew she was kidding but at least she was sincere. To tell the truth, I wanted to take her up on her offer. Right then, I wanted it more than. A trip where we would finally be ‘together’ in the carnal sense of the word.We weren’t going far. One of my fellow physicians at Vandy had a beach house on the Gulf coast of Florida that he rented out and he convinced me that having a stand-alone house would be a much better experience for us than a hotel. We would have our own refrigerator, a kitchen, and, oh by the way, he also had a fishing boat we could use if we got bored! I laughed at that, but with Aurora I never knew what adventure might appeal to her.But in a single house, we could make as much noise as we wanted without having people pounding on the walls. And it was my intention to make Aurora’s first time the experience of a lifetime. Hopefully of an eternal lifetime together with me.The drive from Brentwood to Panama City takes about 8 hours down I-65, and then on more secondary roads through Alabama to the panhandle of Florida. I had Maria clear my Thursday (I didn’t normally work Fridays) and Aurora and I left early.
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